Diary:Satan (Meta, 20)
From Compile Worlds
Not to be confused with the page Satan's Diary, which is speculation about Madou Monogatari (SEGA Saturn)
Page 1
Bwahahahaha!!! Carbuncle has been successfully returned to me! Now all that remains is for my beloved Arle to appear so that I may reveal to her my latest attempt at a Honeymoon under the stary sky! This time, we will be together forever! ♥
...Oh! That's her already! Got to go! :D
Page 2a (oh no not again)
Yes...YES! The pieces were falling into place! Arle Nadja was here at last! ...Along with all of her friends. Oh well, not a moment too soon, I suppose, seeing as how I've just completed my plans. Oh! And I even thought to show Arle all of my wonderful drawings of us spending time together! ♥ Back in my day, I was somewhat of a doujinshi artist. Never expected that one, eh? Ahem... Anyway, these fools were trying to stir up trouble, one of them even said I didn't exist. The nerve! Does he KNOW WHO HE'S TALKING TO?! I was going to prove them all wrong god dammit!... Until that damned dragon lady slapped me with her tail. ;_; LIPS ARE A VERY SENSITIVE PART OF THE BODY I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW, AND SHE WAS RUDE ENOUGH TO SMACK ME RIGHT WHEN I WAS PUCKERING FOR A KISS. Furthermore, that wretched dark pervert showed up and tried to defile my good name even more. What is this?! "Everyone picks on Satan day?!" BAH! I've had enough of this nonsense!
But then, Arle set my head on Fire. Oh my sweet sweet Arle... you light more than my head on fire... you make heart blaze like Hell itself... ♥_♥ O-Of course though, having your head catch on fire is painful and bad for your hair, so I ran around and screamed. What? Do you really expect me not to in the face of such blazen danger? However, I had activated my trump card: MY AUTOMATICALLY LOADING ROCKET SHIP!!! MWAHAHAHA! FOOLS! DO YOU REALLY EXPECT TO OUTWIT ME, THE KING OF THE ABYSS? But then, and this is something else, that annoying songstress and Draco somehow managed to teleport into my rocket with no effort at all. How? How?! HOW?!?! THIS ROCKET WAS HALFWAY TO THE MOON ALREADY. THERE IS NO WAY THIS SHOULD HAVE HAPPENED. I MADE THIS WORLD AND MADE IT'S RULES. WHO IN THE HELL ALLOWED THIS TO HAPPEN?! NOT I!!!
I... I'm calm now. No worries. It's just a random happenstance Deus Ex Machina. It happens all the time right? I kept my cool and decided the best way to approach this problem was the simplest one; I merely pushed Harpy out of the rocket. Haha! Yes! Remember who your maker is, you sheet covered angelic trash! But then Draco clutched onto her desperate for her safety. It was almost pathetic. I could've shed a tear, but I didn't. I'm better than that, they do not need nor deserve my pity. I instinctively casted one of my more powerful spells to finish them off, but then, Arle and that Draco teamed up on me! Why this, on the day of my honeymoon? And then, Carby's laser caused the rocket to fly back to Earth...
The rocket crashed and burnt, just like my hopes and dreams of a Honeymoon with Arle. Rulue and her annoying Mino appeared as well, what rotten luck! Everyone I hate just suddenly showed up today. I had to think of a diversion and make my get-away... there was no way I would succeed with that pervert and that crazed so-called queen on my tail. I was hungry, and Cake was the first thing that entered my mind, so I blurted out "Oh, look! A big 15-layer super deluxe Chocolate Turtle Cake!" I admit, this was a hasty plan that was not well thought, but apparently the Mino had actually brought a cake! I took the oppourtunity to abuse my Portal Master™ Powers and materialize a smoke bomb for me to commit my daring escape with! I shall scheme again!!!
