Minecraft (InstanceTopic, 19)

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Revision as of 01:32, 9 January 2011 by Nmn (Talk | contribs)
  • Quote: Typical Minecraft user
Minecraft, is like sex... I can't get either without paying or doing something illegal. And I don't have any money.
  • Quote: Typical Minecraft user
When I was younger, I would dream about roaming around in my own Lego worlds, and about startrek and disney porn.

Minecraft is an indie web game written in Java which involves mining and crafting, and building swastikas over your Jewish friend's creations when he's not looking. It's reminiscent of RuneScape (which is bad,) but you can play single player if you want to (which is bad for your social life,) and you can build literally anything you want (given tools, time and courage, the entire map can be made into whatever you like, which is great if you have assburgers). It's also extremely scary, even when the difficulty is set to Peaceful, and it is not recommended to play the game at night or in the dark. Caution: May induce fear of darkness, fear of water, fear of heights, fear of spiders, and fear of suddenly looking behind you to see a sheep in your house.

Minecraft is best known for its fast Java-based engine and tendency to attract completely normal people. Despite this, the game has fostered some criticism, mainly from Call of Duty faggots players who can't find the explosives and lack of entertainment they once found in Call of Duty. It is recommended that those people immediately delete all of their rap music and end their lives.

What's the best part of Minecraft? Nothing. It sucks. The graphics look like they were created by an aspie 12 year old, the music is almost completely ambient, much like the sound of having no friends, and the gameplay has 300 complex rules nobody cares about. All in all, Minecraft is a piece of shit that happens to be filling the gap that kids coming out of playing crappy vtech games will surely enjoy for years to come. Despite this, the author of Minecraft seems to be making a lot of money, and none of this paragraph was influenced by alleged jealousy as a result of the money.

Minecraft is Turing-complete, which means you can program it to imitate a homosexual crypto breaker, given enough time and processing power.

External links

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