Wario (EntityTopic, 8)

From Compile Worlds

Wario is a fat-ass from the Mario series. Often the denizens of the Mushroom Kingdom think he is a failure, but secretly he is made of epic win. He and his brother Waluigi are never far from each other, and are usually never absent from the distress of the Mushroom Kingdom. He is quite disgusting and sometimes vulgar, but usually this vulgarism comes from comical sexual innuendos both obvious and vague. Wario's alliance is rather vague, since he often joins sides with anybody. Usually though, the criteria is often having a woman of some sexual appeal that is available.

Personality

Wario is extremely greedy. He also takes pride in being ridiculously fat, which he often refers to in an affectionate manner. He also loves his man boobs, and usually avoids losing weight in order to keep his moobs and blubber. Ironically, Wario is very recreational. Wario also has a habit of occasionally farting, which unlike those of the babies, actually sends people into critical states, although this also may be Shy Guy's overreacting. Wario also is a nymphomaniac, and is constantly horny. Usually, Wario is seen lusting for Daisy, although this is because Daisy is an easy target, considering her position as a slut has left her without any men competing for her. Often Wario and has brother fantasize about simultaneously fucking Daisy, forming a human sandwich. However, this has yet to happen. Wario often causes ruckus in the Kingdom, but is hardly ever pursued by law-enforcement or otherwise, perhaps particularly because in spite of his greedy, disgusting nature, he has become a prestigious economic figure in the Kingdom. Wario also has a collection of motorcycles, his favorite being of course, the Wario Bike, and also a collection of fancy cars.

Appearences

New Super Mario Show

Although he wasn't in the show's earliest episodes, Wario has become one of the most prominent characters to appear in an episode, right beside Mario and Luigi themselves. Wario's presence often indicates though that he will flirt with any nearby ladies, to no avail. He may also try to make fun of the other characters, also to no avail. Wario however, also has appeared in some villainous roles. In one episode, for example, Wario received a wand from Kamek, which he went rampant with, even running into Sonic the Hedgehog's world and messing with their lives. Interestingly, he did not attempt to use it to make Daisy love him or his brother. If Daisy is not readily available, Wario will instead antagonize Rosalina, or Peach as a last resort.

Super Smash Bros.

Wario is unusually benevolent in the Smash movies, often lending a hand to Peach in her constant struggles against Ganondrof, Jigglypuff, Kamek and the n00bn8tor, among others. He is also shown running WarioWare Inc. more often here, and often pranks people whom order pizza from Mona Pizza, which surprisingly hasn't cost Mona her job....yet. However, Wario still pulls crude humor and sexual jokes, annoying the other cast members, especially Red, whom is frustrated by not being able to understand his innuendos.

Business

Wario owns 2 companies, both of which have his name within them. Wario owns the following companies:

Wario's Gold Mine

Mines and Manufactures gold for Wario to hoard in his personal stash.

WarioWare inc.

A company that mass produces GBA games, which all seem to be instant hits and milk money from the residents of Diamond City.

Additionally, Wario is involved in Mona Pizza(Delivery boy), Club Sugar(Possible sponsor), Peach's Secret Cake Factory(Occasional worker), Albertsons(Occasionally in the Baker section), and Bowser's Army(Often due to Bowser hiring cheap work and not Wario's own desire). He may fund Dr. Crygor's wacky experiments, but this is unlikely.

Mario Party and Recreational life

Wario and Waluigi are quite active in community get-togethers and other recreational activities. Particularly, sports, like Golf, Tennis, and Baseball, or Mario Party seem to be the most interesting to Wario and Waluigi. In Tennis, they often dominate the courts, even knocking around star players like Mario, Peach and Alex at the top of their game. They have won nearly every tournament Peach has held, making Peach conservative about scheduling further tourneys, due to the fact that no one can have fun while Wario and Waluigi are around crushing everybody. They also seem to be talented baseball players. As such, Bowser places them on his team to avoid a loss against Mario. As usual, Wario and Waluigi clean up here rather well, leaving the Mario Bros. team with a low self esteem. Recently, Wario and Waluigi have proven themselves to be quite nasty Mario Party players, gathering almost 6 Stars in a team game, and winning many others by themselves. Recently however, they also lost a Minigame War to Mario and Luigi, whom were competing to get $1500 to pay of the rent for Peach's Castle.

Sexuality

Wario is QUITE CLEARLY straight. Any shots at Waluigi are obviously just him joking around.

Quotes

• "Oh yeah!"
• "Hey look Waluigi, it's Daisy!"
• "Look Waluigi, Peach is having an orgasm over that Pikachu!"
• "There's a hole in my brains!!!"
• "Fine, I'll just yell quietly!"
• "I'll show you my twinkie! Oh yeah!"
• "No! I want Daisy!"
• "No! What are they doing in my Gold Mine?! Oh no!"
• "Daisy's the sexiest of them all! Oh yeah!"