Minecraft (InstanceTopic, 19)

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Revision as of 01:49, 9 January 2011

Quote: Typical Minecraft user

Minecraft is like sex... I can't get either without paying or doing something illegal. And I don't have any money.

Quote: Typical Minecraft user

When I was younger, I would dream about roaming around in my own Lego worlds.

Minecraft is an indie web game written in Java which involves mining and crafting, and building swastikas over your Jewish friends' creations when they're not looking. It's reminiscent of RuneScape (which is bad,) but you can play single player if you want to (which is bad for your social life,) and you can build literally anything you want (given tools, time and courage, the entire map can be made into whatever you like, which is great if you have assburgers). It's also extremely scary, even when the difficulty is set to Peaceful, and it is not recommended to play the game at night or in the dark. Caution: May induce fear of darkness, fear of water, fear of heights, fear of spiders, and fear of suddenly looking behind you to see a sheep in your house.

Minecraft is best known for its fast Java-based engine and tendency to attract {{#linkfarm|[1]|[2]|[3]|completely normal people}}. Despite this, the game has fostered some criticism, mainly from Call of Duty ~~faggots~~ players who can't find the explosives and lack of entertainment they once found in Call of Duty. It is recommended that those people immediately delete all of their rap music and give up at life.

What's the best part of Minecraft? Nothing, because everything about it is awesome. It's even Turing-complete, so you could theoretically program it to emulate things, but it turns out that you can't really fit that much redstone in the 300x300 area that's actually loaded at any one time. How to avoid redstone clocks (and minecarts) randomly freezing up when you go too far away from them is quite an open problem.

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Aspergite

Golden Apple

Muffin Town

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-{{Quote|Minecraft, is like sex... I can't get either without paying or doing something illegal. And I don't have any money.|Typical Minecraft user}}
+{{Quote|Minecraft is like sex... I can't get either without paying or doing something illegal. And I don't have any money.|Typical Minecraft user}}
-{{Quote|When I was younger, I would dream about roaming around in my own Lego worlds, and about startrek and disney porn.|Typical Minecraft user}}
+{{Quote|When I was younger, I would dream about roaming around in my own Lego worlds.|Typical Minecraft user}}
-'''Minecraft''' is an [[indie]] [[web game]] written in [[Java]] which involves [[mining]] and [[crafting]], and building swastikas over your Jewish friend's creations when he's not looking. It's reminiscent of [[RuneScape]] (which is bad,) but you can play single player if you want to (which is bad for your social life,) and you can build literally anything you want (given [[tools]], [[time]] and [[courage]], the entire [[map]] can be made into whatever you like, which is great if you have [[assburgers]]). It's also extremely [[scary]], even when the difficulty is set to [[Easy Modo|Peaceful]], and it is not recommended to play the game at [[night]] or in the [[dark]]. Caution: May induce [[fear of darkness]], [[fear of water]], [[fear of heights]], [[fear of spiders]], and fear of suddenly looking behind you to see a [[sheep]] in your [[house]].
+'''Minecraft''' is an [[indie]] [[web game]] written in [[Java]] which involves [[mining]] and [[crafting]], and building [[swastika]]s over your [[Jewish]] friends' creations when they're not looking. It's reminiscent of [[RuneScape]] (which is bad,) but you can play single player if you want to (which is bad for your social life,) and you can build literally anything you want (given [[tools]], [[time]] and [[courage]], the entire [[map]] can be made into whatever you like, which is great if you have [[assburgers]]). It's also extremely [[scary]], even when the difficulty is set to [[Easy Modo|Peaceful]], and it is not recommended to play the game at [[night]] or in the [[dark]]. Caution: May induce [[fear of darkness]], [[fear of water]], [[fear of heights]], [[fear of spiders]], and fear of suddenly looking behind you to see a [[sheep]] in your [[house]].
-Minecraft is best known for its [[bullshit|fast]] [[Java|Java-based]] engine and tendency to attract [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LGkkyKZVzug completely] [http://www.minecraftforum.net/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=37042 normal] [http://3dsforums.com/lounge-2/minecraft-3ds-fourms-1906/ people]. Despite this, the game has fostered some criticism, mainly from [[Call of Duty]] <s>faggots</s> players who can't find the explosives and lack of entertainment they once found in [[Call of Duty]]. It is recommended that those people immediately delete all of their rap music and end their lives.
+Minecraft is best known for its fast Java-based engine and tendency to attract {{#linkfarm|[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LGkkyKZVzug]|[http://www.minecraftforum.net/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=37042]|[http://3dsforums.com/lounge-2/minecraft-3ds-fourms-1906/]|completely normal people}}. Despite this, the game has fostered some criticism, mainly from [[Call of Duty]] <s>faggots</s> players who can't find the [[explosives]] and lack of entertainment they once found in Call of Duty. It is recommended that those people immediately delete all of their [[rap music]] and give up at life.
-What's the best part of Minecraft? Nothing. It sucks. The graphics look like they were created by an [[aspie]] [[I am 12 years old and what is this|12 year old]], the music is almost completely ambient, much like the sound of having no friends, and the gameplay has [[Number:300|300]] complex rules nobody cares about. All in all, Minecraft is a piece of shit that happens to be filling the gap that kids coming out of playing crappy vtech games will surely enjoy for years to come. Despite this, the author of Minecraft seems to be making a lot of money, and none of this paragraph was influenced by [[alleged]] jealousy as a result of the money.
+What's the best part of Minecraft? Nothing, because everything about it is awesome. It's even [[Alan Turing|Turing]]-[[Turing-complete|complete]], so you could theoretically program it to emulate things, but it turns out that you can't really fit that much [[redstone]] in the 300x300 area that's actually loaded at any one time. How to avoid redstone clocks (and [[minecart]]s) randomly freezing up when you go too far away from them is quite an open problem.
-Minecraft is [[Alan Turing|Turing]]-[[Turing-complete|complete]], which means you can program it to imitate a homosexual crypto breaker, given enough time and processing power.
 == External links ==