Mars (InstanceTopic, 8)

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(Created page with '{{Short|September 18, 2009}} {{Quote|I know! we'll go to Mars!|The mars rocket guy}} '''Mars''' is one of the most boring planets in the Milky Way. As s...')
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{{Short|[[September 18]], [[2009]]}}
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<[#ontology [kind topic] [cats Planet]]>
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{{Quote|I know! we'll go to Mars!|[[The mars rocket guy]]}}
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{{Quote|I know! We'll go to Mars!|[[The mars rocket guy]]}}
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'''Mars''' is one of the most [[boring]] [[planet]]s in the [[solar system]] (and, for that matter, the entire [[Milky Way]]). As such, no one is [[enthusiastic]] about living on it one day. [[Scientology]] wants us all to [[crash land]] on Mars instead of [[The Neptune]], only so they can put [[You|us]] in [[giant glass dome]]s and turn us into [[giant]] [[lab rat]]s for [[Zombie cancer]] treatment testing. Mars is also the home of the infamous [[H-bomb generator]], which causes a [[nuclear explosion]] every time the [[Zeeky words]] are spoken aloud. Apparently some [[green]] [[bobble-head]]ed [[alien]]s also examine the [[Vidian artery|Vidian arteries]] of [[toucan]]s through [[monocle]]s while they [[bathe]] in the unlimited supply of [[hydrogen peroxide]] on the red planet. Most of the time, the planet is freezing cold, reaching temperatures as low as -[[90]] degrees C.
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'''Mars''' is one of the most [[boring]] [[planet]]s in the [[Milky Way]]. As such, no one is [[enthusiastic]] about living on it one day. [[Scientology]] wants us all to crash land on Mars instead of [[The Neptune]], only so they can put [[You|us]] in [[giant glass dome]]s and turn us into [[giant]] [[lab rat]]s for [[Zombie cancer]] treatment testing. Mars is also the home of the infamous [[H-bomb generator]], which causes a [[nuclear explosion]] every time the [[Zeeky words]] are spoken aloud. Apparently some [[green]] [[bobble-head]]ed [[alien]]s also examine the [[Vidian artery|Vidian arteries]] of [[toucan]]s through [[monocle]]s while they [[bathe]] in the limited supply [[hydrogen peroxide]] on the red planet.
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A member from [[4chan]] actually succeeded in landing on Mars once. He never came back, and the [[Mars rover]]s discovered that the aliens had ripped his arteries out, thinking he was the legendary [[Dodo bird]].
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Most of the time, the planet is [[hotter than shit]], reaching temperatures of [[over 9000 kelvin]]s. This, along with the aliens sweat mixing with the hydrogen peroxide, makes Mars the perfect breeding ground for numerous [[pathogen]]s, including [[Ningenitis]], [[Negation deficiency disorder]], [[PK-MN-0]], [[Herpes]], [[NIDS]], and [[b/tard/itis]].
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A member from [[4chan]] actually succeeded in landing on Mars once. He never came back, and the Mars rovers discovered that the Aliens had ripped his arteries out, thinking he was the legendary [[Dodo bird]].
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[[Category:Planets]]
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Latest revision as of 22:12, 11 February 2011

I know! We'll go to Mars!

Mars is one of the most boring planets in the solar system (and, for that matter, the entire Milky Way). As such, no one is enthusiastic about living on it one day. Scientology wants us all to crash land on Mars instead of The Neptune, only so they can put us in giant glass domes and turn us into giant lab rats for Zombie cancer treatment testing. Mars is also the home of the infamous H-bomb generator, which causes a nuclear explosion every time the Zeeky words are spoken aloud. Apparently some green bobble-headed aliens also examine the Vidian arteries of toucans through monocles while they bathe in the unlimited supply of hydrogen peroxide on the red planet. Most of the time, the planet is freezing cold, reaching temperatures as low as -90 degrees C.

A member from 4chan actually succeeded in landing on Mars once. He never came back, and the Mars rovers discovered that the aliens had ripped his arteries out, thinking he was the legendary Dodo bird.