Mars (InstanceTopic, 8)

From Compile Worlds

Mars is one of the most boring planets in the solar system (and, for that matter, the entire Milky Way). As such, no one is enthusiastic about living on it one day. Scientology wants us all to crash land on Mars instead of The Neptune, only so they can put us in giant glass domes and turn us into giant lab rats for Zombie cancer treatment testing. Mars is also the home of the infamous H-bomb generator, which causes a nuclear explosion every time the Zeeky words are spoken aloud. Apparently some green bobble-headed aliens also examine the Vidian arteries of toucans through monocles while they bathe in the unlimited supply of hydrogen peroxide on the red planet. Most of the time, the planet is freezing cold, reaching temperatures as low as -90 degrees C.

A member from 4chan actually succeeded in landing on Mars once. He never came back, and the Mars rovers discovered that the aliens had ripped his arteries out, thinking he was the legendary Dodo bird.