Gary Oak (EntityTopic, 7)

From Compile Worlds

Gary Oak is a character in the Pokémon series. He is an animie exclusive character, aside from his appearances in Pokémon Puzzle League and Pikachu and Squirtle. He is often confused for Green, however:

Yes, that's right, not even in the Yellow version of Pokémon 1 is Green Gary. GET OVER IT! He was formerly Ash Ketchum's rival, HOWEVER, Gary now wants to be friends with Ash, and we all know Gary is better than Ash on any Accord.

Gary! Gary! He's our man!

Yes, Gary at one point, did have a legion of cheerleaders following him everywhere in his lust-worthy red sports car. However, since Gary isn't a fag anymore, the cheerleaders have disappeared, likely obsessing over someone else...or maybe Gary killed them because they were just plain annoying.

Why Gary is better than Ash

"Gary was here. Ash is a loser."

First of all, Gary is obviously better looking than Ash. He isn't indifferent to romantic advances, and is actually able to land himself quite a few girls. Secondly, Gary has an Eevee, which evolved into Umbreon, which automatically makes him awesome. Thirdly, Gary can actually battle. Every time Ash battles Gary, it always ends up with Ash failing miserably. Finally, Gary isn't a complete retard and is actually willing to set aside past skirmishes to become friends with old rivals. Yes, it's because Ash wants to be a dolt that he can't be friends with Gary. His loss.