Mars (InstanceTopic, 8)

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tagged since September 18 , 2009
I know! we'll go to Mars!


Mars is one of the most boring planets in the Milky Way. As such, no one is enthusiastic about living on it one day. Scientology wants us all to crash land on Mars instead of The Neptune, only so they can put us in giant glass domes and turn us into giant lab rats for Zombie cancer treatment testing. Mars is also the home of the infamous H-bomb generator, which causes a nuclear explosion every time the Zeeky words are spoken aloud. Apparently some green bobble-headed aliens also examine the Vidian arteries of toucans through monocles while they bathe in the limited supply hydrogen peroxide on the red planet.

Most of the time, the planet is hotter than shit, reaching temperatures of over 9000 kelvins. This, along with the aliens sweat mixing with the hydrogen peroxide, makes Mars the perfect breeding ground for numerous pathogens, including Ningenitis, Negation deficiency disorder, PK-MN-0, Herpes, NIDS, and b/tard/itis.

A member from 4chan actually succeeded in landing on Mars once. He never came back, and the Mars rovers discovered that the Aliens had ripped his arteries out, thinking he was the legendary Dodo bird.