The Neptune (ConceptTopic, 17)
From Compile Worlds
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Mysteriously, this page vanished when Kumizone was silently transferred to Keiji's awesome new VPS.
Detectives found traces of lol hackers in the transmission which unfortunately went unnoticed before now.
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- In the beginning, there was One Word Story. And One Word Story said, "Let there be lulz." And the Lulz ensued, and through some stroke of luck -- no, destiny -- a certain
scientificline appeared, one line to rule them all, to gain fame and prosperity. - “We cannot forget. We cannot forgive. We are legion. We will overpower Scientology and crash land on the Neptune.”
- —The Book of Retro-Kumizone
There were various interpretations of this prophetic scripture, and for a long time it was believed that The Neptune was a Kumizonian's home or refuge. However, there has more recently arisen a much more appropriate refuge, namely, Satan's Rocket. Whether or not this rocket is destined to crash land on the Neptune itself is open to interpretation.
Running away after engaging in an argument about operating systems was said to be the number one cause for the very first inhabitants of the Neptune. There have also been various rumours that the Neptune itself would don a false identity, as Planet Enuten, and become the setting for Project Nanako. However, Kei keeps changing the plot for that game...
- When advised to run away, you should get out as fast as possible and as far as possible, hopefully to another planet, especially the Neptune. Not leaving may indeed cause negative effects on your end.
- —The Book of Retro-Kumizone
Someone once claimed that the Neptune had its own theme song. However, it was retarded, and the uprising was quickly vanquished.
The Neptunial Calendar
The week is the official calendar of the Neptune. There are 19 days in each fortnight, which contains three weeks, two having six and the other seven days. There are 13 of these fortnights (247 days) in a month, and 363 months (89,661 days) in a year. However, as the Neptune's year is actually only 89660.3605 Neptunial days long, the last day (leap day) is excluded whenever the day count becomes at least half a day more than this number times the year count; this phenomenon is dubbed the Missing Bunday. One Neptunial day is 0.6713 Earthen days, making a year about 245.5 Earthen years.
The epoch of the Neptunial calendar is the Earthen Official T Day, 2008. In the Neptunial calendar, this is 000/000/000 (in YYY/MMM/DDD format) as Neptunial date numbering starts at zero. Events that are commonly celebrated annually on Earth are monthly on the Neptune.
An example translation of a date to the Neptunial calendar is 2009/04/02 16:20:13 which becomes 000/002/247 32:50:74 - hours, minutes and seconds are all decimal and range from 00 to 99.
Days of the week
- Missing Monday
- Missing Monday only occurs in every third week, hence the name. It is therefore rarely Missing Monday, so nothing important happens on these days. Thankfully for us lazy sods, but bad for business, it is not a day of rest, which is the main reason for almost every missed deadline evar.
- Happy Tuesday
- Happy Tuesday is happy. All good things are said to have first happened on a Happy Tuesday. For example, xm3smps Anniversary Edition was released on April Fools' Day, 2008, which was a Happy Tuesday.
- Fanficnesday
- Fanficnesday is the second most fun day (next to Caturday) and the second happiest day (next to Happy Tuesday) of the week, and as such many perceive it to be the best day of the week. Every Fanficnesday, the Kumizonian ritual of fanfiction-reading is practiced all across the Neptune.
- Fursday
- Fursday is the evil day of the week. Originally Thursday, yet still evil, it was invaded by furries and stolen from Satan, who now resides in the past and can only be visited using the TARDIS or, if it even exists, another time-traveling device. Furries are actually not evil themselves, and blame their unfortunate leopard failure at being pushed into the week's evil day for their fursecution.
- Firry Friday
- Firry Friday was originally Furry Friday. The aforementioned furries were driven out of Firry Friday by their arch-nemeses, the firries. This epic event occured on the Last Thursday.
- Caturday
- Caturday is the official day of rest and worship to Ceiling Cat and has been so ever since Genesis. Caturdays typically consist of creating, posting and reposting image macros of cats. Non-believers are commonly known to place the emphasis in the middle, instead posting ugly pictures of turds.
- Bunday
- Bunday is the day of bunnies. As it is less famous than Caturday, it is the second day of rest and used as a wind-down period for calmly posting bunnies after the wild, epic Caturday threads.
