Internet Explorer (ConceptTopic, 11)

From Compile Worlds

Revision as of 20:47, 16 July 2009

Internet Explorer was an attempt by Scientology to kill Jesus. It's first release, also known as Jesus Explorer, contained support for blinking text - Originally this was used by the religion to hypnotize people and force them to kill Jesus. However, n00bs used this as bling-bling for their Geocities pages and it all went to hell.

Internet Explorer is widely known for attempting to shoot people, sending complete logs of a computer's usage, including screenshots, webcam footage, voice recording, keystrokes, and all of the computers passwords, history and cookies, and for being the most used web browser by Myspace users. It also ignores any form of standards in order to keep it's grip on the market share. As once said by Scientology front Microsoft, "The best way to avoid solving a problem is ignorance."

Microsoft Internet Explorer

Because of the spread of intelligence and Netscape (and later Mozilla Firefox) via the internet, Scientology quickly lost it's effectiveness in promoting bullshit. To counter this, Scientology brutally raped Microsoft CEO Bill Gates several times with old fat employees until he agreed to sell the internet browser under the Microsoft name.

The result was Microsoft Internet Explorer 3, the worst browser ever created in the history of web browsers. Because people were still completely retarded when it came to internets, it was an even bigger success and Scientology seems to have won the battle at this point.

Jesus Fights Back

Jesus retaliated by forming 3 competitor projects over time.

• KHTML-based Safari. Mostly known as a failure, Jesus realized his mistake in choosing Apple for his business.
• Mozilla Firefox. A pretty good success as far as web browsers go, Jesus makes a come back.
• Google Chrome. Jesus strikes browsing gold when he influences the creation of Chrome, a new type of web browser.