DVD (InstanceTopic, 9)
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| - | {{Image|<[zfmEPzpNETUc9bU0a6nMVqwhDDp2XZoYd6Q6J_hbx7y8LgJx]>|4chan releases the first DVD,<br/>[[Caturday]] | + | {{Image|<[zfmEPzpNETUc9bU0a6nMVqwhDDp2XZoYd6Q6J_hbx7y8LgJx]>|4chan releases the first DVD,<br/>[[Caturday]] [[July 22]], [[1944]]}} |
| + | {{KeepLeft|150px|{{Excellent|[[July 28]], [[2009]]|{{Improve|redlinks}}}}}} | ||
'''DVD'''s are plastic plates with [[your penis|really REALLY small]] pictures on them. These pictures are enlarged and projected onto a glass plate also known as a Television 60 times a second. | '''DVD'''s are plastic plates with [[your penis|really REALLY small]] pictures on them. These pictures are enlarged and projected onto a glass plate also known as a Television 60 times a second. | ||
Revision as of 08:04, 28 July 2009
DVDs are plastic plates with really REALLY small pictures on them. These pictures are enlarged and projected onto a glass plate also known as a Television 60 times a second.
DVD technology was developed by 4chan founder Adolf Hitler in order to redistribute videos of kittens to members. On Caturday 22nd, July 1944, the first DVD was released for the DVD-chan rev. 1 DVD playback system.
Popular DVD players
DVD-chan
4chan's first DVD playback device was called the DVD-chan. The DVD-chan was a complex series of tubes that allowed you to watch betamax videotapes as well as DVDs on your television set - this made it the prime platform for pornography in the coming years. However, DVD-chan was discontinued when it was found to have over 9000 secretly accessible CP videos stored inside of the player.
Microsoft PlayDVD4
In response to the DVD-chan discontinuation, many clones were spawned. The most notable of which was Microsoft PlayDVD4, the sequel to Microsoft PlayDVD. PlayDVD4 introduced new annoying features like menus and region protection, many of which are still around today.
Many are confused about the number 4. Finally today, Microsoft has revealed that the 4 was the bittage of the processor. Previously, PlayDVD had only a 2-bit processor. This wasn't easy to figure out via a hammer because anyone who looks on the firmware would find that PlayDVD4 has a System2 and a SysDOD4 - which makes no fucking sense, since SysDOD4 contains 2-bit files but System2 contains 4-bit files.
Microsoft PlayDVD4, unlike PlayDVD, included Audio for the first time since DVD-chan Uproar! 1000.
Toshiba DVDildo
The very most notable clone of DVD-chan was the Toshiba DVDildo. The DVDildo implemented all of the features of Microsoft PlayDVD4 and included greyscale output, allowing for true 8-bit shades of black to appear on your screen. A step up from PlayDVD's 1-bit display, it rivaled the quality of DVD-chan itself.
In addition, DVDildo included a set of controls on the front of the box. It weighed about the same size as the smallest DVD-chan of the same featureset, the DVD-chan Loli, yet cost a price about the same as the DVD-chan Neko.
Sony CuntMotion
By far the most notable knockoff of DVD-chan was Sony CuntMotion. Geared directly toward profit, like DVDildo, it was specifically made for porn. It included more annoying DRM than Spore and a slower GUI than Windows Vista on a Pentium 3 (maybe even as slow as Windows ME on one).
Sony CuntMotion was the first DVD player to support color other than the rare DVD-chan YiffGrapher.
