Icelandic (ConceptTopic, 5)
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'''Icelandic''' is the hardest [[fuck|fucking]] [[language]] on the [[whole damn planet]]. It is a [[Scandinavian]] language, which means it [[rape|rapes]] [[you]], your [[mother]], and your [[dog]]. It is spoken on some [[isolate|isolated]] [[island]] somewhere (also known to some as [[Iceland]]). If you can speak Icelandic, [[you can do just about anything]]. | '''Icelandic''' is the hardest [[fuck|fucking]] [[language]] on the [[whole damn planet]]. It is a [[Scandinavian]] language, which means it [[rape|rapes]] [[you]], your [[mother]], and your [[dog]]. It is spoken on some [[isolate|isolated]] [[island]] somewhere (also known to some as [[Iceland]]). If you can speak Icelandic, [[you can do just about anything]]. | ||
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== History == | == History == | ||
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Icelandic came from [[Old Norse]], the [[old|oldest]] most [[badass]] language in the [[world]]. It sounds like [[Faroese]] and [[Danish]], two other [[badass]] languages. However, it doesn't sound [[ugly]] like Danish. It also isn't [[impossible]] to [[pronounce]] like Faroese. Still, the [[Danes]] couldn't keep their [[grease|greasy]] hands off of it. It is now spoken in [[Denmark]] because [[Danes|they]] wanted an excuse for not using their own [[damn]] language. Of course, the [[U.S.A.]] did their part and more by allowing people to speak it there as well. | Icelandic came from [[Old Norse]], the [[old|oldest]] most [[badass]] language in the [[world]]. It sounds like [[Faroese]] and [[Danish]], two other [[badass]] languages. However, it doesn't sound [[ugly]] like Danish. It also isn't [[impossible]] to [[pronounce]] like Faroese. Still, the [[Danes]] couldn't keep their [[grease|greasy]] hands off of it. It is now spoken in [[Denmark]] because [[Danes|they]] wanted an excuse for not using their own [[damn]] language. Of course, the [[U.S.A.]] did their part and more by allowing people to speak it there as well. | ||
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== Pronunciation == | == Pronunciation == | ||
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=== Vowels === | === Vowels === | ||
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The [[vowel|vowels]] are the [[sex appeal|sexiest]] sounds in Icelandic. When pronounced [[correct|correctly]], it is as if multiple [[orgasm|orgasms]] are spewing from your [[mouth]]. | The [[vowel|vowels]] are the [[sex appeal|sexiest]] sounds in Icelandic. When pronounced [[correct|correctly]], it is as if multiple [[orgasm|orgasms]] are spewing from your [[mouth]]. | ||
There are some [[gay]] new alphabet letters to memorize, which all are a [[bitch]] to type: | There are some [[gay]] new alphabet letters to memorize, which all are a [[bitch]] to type: | ||
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=== Consonants === | === Consonants === | ||
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For the record, the last two aren't vowels. A [[baby with Down's Syndrome]] could figure that one out. So why did I put them there? Simply to [[piss]] [[you]] off. If you really must know how to pronounce the consonants, look up a pronunciation guide. This isn't a site based on fact. | For the record, the last two aren't vowels. A [[baby with Down's Syndrome]] could figure that one out. So why did I put them there? Simply to [[piss]] [[you]] off. If you really must know how to pronounce the consonants, look up a pronunciation guide. This isn't a site based on fact. | ||
== Grammar == | == Grammar == | ||
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''NOTE: This section is not for pussies; if you are one, turn back now'' | ''NOTE: This section is not for pussies; if you are one, turn back now'' | ||
Revision as of 09:42, 19 April 2009
Icelandic is the hardest fucking language on the whole damn planet. It is a Scandinavian language, which means it rapes you, your mother, and your dog. It is spoken on some isolated island somewhere (also known to some as Iceland). If you can speak Icelandic, you can do just about anything.
History
Icelandic came from Old Norse, the oldest most badass language in the world. It sounds like Faroese and Danish, two other badass languages. However, it doesn't sound ugly like Danish. It also isn't impossible to pronounce like Faroese. Still, the Danes couldn't keep their greasy hands off of it. It is now spoken in Denmark because they wanted an excuse for not using their own damn language. Of course, the U.S.A. did their part and more by allowing people to speak it there as well.
Pronunciation
Vowels
The vowels are the sexiest sounds in Icelandic. When pronounced correctly, it is as if multiple orgasms are spewing from your mouth. There are some gay new alphabet letters to memorize, which all are a bitch to type:
á, é, í, ú, ó, þ, and ð.
The first is pronounced like 'OW!', as if you just dropped a sledge hammer on your dick. The second, 'YEs'. Third, like the 'e' in "BEOTCH!". The fourth, 'cOOl'. The fifth, the 'oh' in "oh shit!". The last are pronounced as "THink" and "THis" respectively.
Consonants
For the record, the last two aren't vowels. A baby with Down's Syndrome could figure that one out. So why did I put them there? Simply to piss you off. If you really must know how to pronounce the consonants, look up a pronunciation guide. This isn't a site based on fact.
Grammar
NOTE: This section is not for pussies; if you are one, turn back now
Well, shit. Where do I start? Icelandic grammar is retarded beyond belief.
