Icelandic (ConceptTopic, 5)

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Latest revision as of 16:05, 4 January 2014

Icelandic is the most ridiculously difficult language on the whole damn planet. It is a Scandinavian language, which means it screws over you, your mother and your dog. It is spoken on some isolated island somewhere (also known to some as Iceland). If you can speak Icelandic, you can do just about anything.

History

Icelandic came from Old Norse, the oldest most badass language in the world. It sounds like Faroese and Danish, two other badass languages. However, it doesn't sound ugly like Danish. It also isn't impossible to pronounce like Faroese. Still, the Danes couldn't keep their greasy hands off of it. It is now spoken in Denmark because they wanted an excuse for not using their own damn language. Of course, the USA did their part and more by allowing people to speak it there as well.

Pronunciation

Vowels

There are some new alphabet letters to memorize, which all are a bitch to type:

á, é, í, ú, ó, þ, and ð.

The first is pronounced like 'OW!', as if you just dropped a sledge hammer on your toes. The second, 'YEs'. Third, like the 'e' in "BEOTCH!". The fourth, 'cOOl'. The fifth, the 'oh' in "oh crap!". The last are pronounced as "THink" and "THis" respectively.

Consonants

For the record, the last two aren't vowels. A baby with Down's Syndrome could figure that one out. So why did I put them there? Just to piss you off. If you really must know how to pronounce the consonants, look up a pronunciation guide. This isn't a site based on fact.

Grammar

NOTE: This section is not for pussies; if you are one, turn back now

Well, crap. Where do I start? Icelandic grammar is retarded beyond belief.

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 <[#ontology [kind topic] [cats Natural_language]]>
-'''Icelandic''' is the most ridiculously difficult [[language]] on the [[whole damn planet]]. It is a [[Scandinavian]] language, which means it [[rape|rapes]] [[you]], your [[mother]], and your [[dog]]. It is spoken on some [[isolate|isolated]] [[island]] somewhere (also known to some as [[Iceland]]). If you can speak Icelandic, [[you can do just about anything]].
+'''Icelandic''' is the most ridiculously difficult [[language]] on the [[whole damn planet]]. It is a [[Scandinavian]] language, which means it screws over [[you]], your [[mother]] and your [[dog]]. It is spoken on some [[isolated]] [[island]] somewhere (also known to some as [[Iceland]]). If you can speak Icelandic, [[you can do just about anything]].
 == History ==
-Icelandic came from [[Old Norse]], the [[old|oldest]] most [[badass]] language in the [[world]]. It sounds like [[Faroese]] and [[Danish]], two other [[badass]] languages. However, it doesn't sound [[ugly]] like Danish. It also isn't [[impossible]] to [[pronounce]] like Faroese. Still, the [[Danes]] couldn't keep their [[grease|greasy]] hands off of it. It is now spoken in [[Denmark]] because [[Danes|they]] wanted an excuse for not using their own [[damn]] language. Of course, the [[U.S.A.]] did their part and more by allowing people to speak it there as well.
+Icelandic came from [[Old Norse]], the oldest most [[badass]] language in the [[world]]. It sounds like [[Faroese]] and [[Danish]], two other badass languages. However, it doesn't sound [[ugly]] like Danish. It also isn't [[impossible]] to [[pronounce]] like Faroese. Still, the [[Danes]] couldn't keep their [[greasy]] hands off of it. It is now spoken in [[Denmark]] because they wanted an excuse for not using their own [[damn fourth chaos emerald|damn]] language. Of course, the [[USA]] did their part and more by allowing people to speak it there as well.
 == Pronunciation ==
 === Vowels ===
-The [[vowel|vowels]] are the [[sex appeal|sexiest]] sounds in Icelandic. When pronounced [[correct|correctly]], it is as if multiple [[orgasm|orgasms]] are spewing from your [[mouth]].
+There are some new alphabet letters to memorize, which all are a [[bitch]] to type:
-There are some [[gay]] new alphabet letters to memorize, which all are a [[bitch]] to type:
 á, é, í, ú, ó, þ, and ð.
-The first is pronounced like 'OW!', as if you just dropped a [[sledge hammer]] on your [[penis|dick]]. The second, 'YEs'. Third, like the 'e' in "BEOTCH!". The fourth, '[[cOOl]]'. The fifth, the 'oh' in "oh shit!". The last are pronounced as "THink" and "THis" respectively.
+The first is pronounced like 'OW!', as if you just dropped a [[sledge hammer]] on your toes. The second, 'YEs'. Third, like the 'e' in "BEOTCH!". The fourth, '[[cOOl]]'. The fifth, the 'oh' in "oh crap!". The last are pronounced as "THink" and "THis" respectively.
 === Consonants ===
-For the record, the last two aren't vowels. A [[baby with Down's Syndrome]] could figure that one out. So why did I put them there? Simply to [[piss]] [[you]] off. If you really must know how to pronounce the consonants, look up a pronunciation guide. This isn't a site based on fact.
+For the record, the last two aren't vowels. A [[baby with Down's Syndrome]] could figure that one out. So why did I put them there? [[Just to piss you off]]. If you really must know how to pronounce the consonants, look up a pronunciation guide. This isn't a site based on fact.
 == Grammar ==
 ''NOTE: This section is not for pussies; if you are one, turn back now''
-Well, shit. Where do [[user:Son-X|I]] start? Icelandic [[grammar]] is [[retard|retarded]] beyond [[belief]].
+Well, crap. Where do [[user:Son-X|I]] start? Icelandic [[grammar]] is [[retard|retarded]] beyond [[belief]].