The Neptune (ConceptTopic, 17)

<[#ontology [kind topic] [cats Awesomesauce Literature Kumizone]]>
{{Selfref|This page was renovated by a user under the influence of [[the Adventures of Batman and Robin]] [[soundtrack]].}}
{{Lol hackers|[[March 24]], [[2009]]}}
{{Awesome|[[May 19]], [[2008]]}}

:''In the beginning, there was [[One Word Story]]. And One Word Story said, "Let there be [[lulz]]." And the Lulz ensued, and through some stroke of [[luck]] -- no, [[destiny]] -- [[A Certain Scientific Railgun|a certain <s>scientific</s> line]] appeared, [[one ring to rule them all|one line to rule them all]], to gain [[fame]] and [[prosperity]].''
:''“We cannot forget. We cannot forgive. We are legion. We will overpower [[Scientology]] and crash land on the Neptune.”''
::&mdash;The Book of Retro-Kumizone

There were various interpretations of this prophetic scripture, and for a long time it was believed that '''The Neptune''' was a [[Kumizonian]]'s home or refuge. However, there has more recently arisen a much more appropriate refuge, namely, [[Satan's Rocket]]. Whether or not this rocket is destined to crash land on the Neptune itself is open to interpretation.

''Running away'' after engaging in an argument about [[operating systems]] was said to be the number one cause for the very first inhabitants of the Neptune. There have also been various rumours that the Neptune itself would don a [[false identity]], as ''Planet Enuten'', and become the setting for [[Project Nanako]]. However, Kei keeps changing the plot for that game...

:''When advised to '''run away''', you should get out as [[fast]] as possible and as [[far]] as possible, hopefully to another [[planet]], especially [[the Neptune]]. Not leaving may [[indeed]] cause negative effects on your end.''
::&mdash;The Book of Retro-Kumizone

[[User:Keiji|Someone]] once claimed that the Neptune had its own [[theme song]]. However, it was retarded, and the uprising was quickly vanquished.

== The Neptunial Calendar ==
'''The week''' is the official calendar of [[the Neptune]]. There are [[19]] days in each ''fortnight'', which contains three weeks, two having [[six]] and the other [[seven]] days. There are [[13]] of these fortnights ([[247]] days) in a ''month'', and [[363]] months ([[89,661]] days) in a ''year''. However, as the Neptune's year is actually only 89660.3605 Neptunial days long, the last day (leap day) is excluded whenever the day count becomes at least half a day more than this number times the year count; this phenomenon is dubbed the ''Missing Bunday''. One Neptunial day is 0.6713 [[Earth]]en days, making a year about 245.5 Earthen years.

The [[epoch]] of the Neptunial calendar is the Earthen [[Official T Day]], [[2008]]. In the Neptunial calendar, this is 000/000/000 (in YYY/MMM/DDD format) as Neptunial date numbering starts at [[zero]]. Events that are commonly celebrated annually on Earth are monthly on the Neptune.

An example translation of a date to the Neptunial calendar is 2009/04/02 16:20:13 which becomes 000/002/247 32:50:74 - hours, minutes and seconds are all decimal and range from 00 to 99.

=== Days of the week ===
;Missing Monday
:''Missing Monday'' only occurs in every third week, hence the name. It is therefore rarely Missing Monday, so nothing important happens on these days. Thankfully for us [[lazy sod]]s, but bad for [[business]], it is not a day of rest, which is the main reason for almost every missed [[deadline]] [[evar]].
;Happy Tuesday
:''Happy Tuesday'' is happy. All good things are said to have first happened on a Happy Tuesday. For example, [[xm3smps Anniversary Edition]] was released on [[April Fools' Day]], [[2008]], which was a Happy Tuesday.
;Fanficnesday
:''Fanficnesday'' is the second most fun day (next to Caturday) and the second happiest day (next to Happy Tuesday) of the week, and as such many perceive it to be [[the best]] day of the week. Every Fanficnesday, the [[Kumizonian]] ritual of fanfiction-reading is practiced [[all across the Neptune]].
;Fursday
:''Fursday'' is the evil day of the week. Originally Thursday, yet still evil, it was invaded by [[furry|furries]] and stolen from [[Satan]], who now resides in the past and can only be visited using the [[TARDIS]] or, if it even exists, another [[time-traveling device]]. Furries are actually not evil themselves, and blame their unfortunate [[leopard failure]] at being pushed into the week's evil day for their [[fursecution]].
;Firry Friday
:''Firry Friday'' was originally ''Furry Friday''. The aforementioned furries were driven out of Firry Friday by their arch-nemeses, the [[firry|firries]]. This [[epic event]] occured on the Last Thursday.
;Caturday
:''Caturday'' is the official day of rest and worship to [[Ceiling Cat]] and has been so ever since [http://www.lolcatbible.com/index.php?title=Genesis_1 Genesis]. Caturdays typically consist of creating, posting and [[repost]]ing [[image macro]]s of [[cat]]s. Non-believers are commonly known to place the emphasis in the middle, instead posting [[ugly]] pictures of [[Crap|turds]].
;Bunday
:''Bunday'' is the day of [[Usagi|bunnies]]. As it is less famous than Caturday, it is the second day of rest and used as a wind-down [[period]] for calmly posting bunnies after the wild, epic Caturday threads.